Daily Loaf

The worst of all worlds

If I could have had it my way, Finland - or any other Nordic country - would never have joined the European Union, and we'd be living in a loving, caring and boring utopia that has free-trade ties with the EU, a scandinavian krona and a working supranational democratic government. Call it the Scandinavian Union.

Well, things never do work out the way I want. Take Haapajärvi, for instance. I was hoping to find corn-fed boys driving down Main Street in their tractors wearing bib overalls that nicely highlight their wide tan shoulders... Not quite so: this place is one big time warp.

Most guys my age, giver or take 5 years, seem to dress like I remember people did in the mid- to late 80's in the countryside; par example: white loose t-shirts, sleeves torn off , stone washed jeans with no patterns or sweatpants, leather boots or running shoes that should've been dumped 5000 kilometers ago, an earring (just a plain ring) in either ear - never both - and, get this, I've actually seen a mullet! They're driving the same cars they drove in the 80's, too, though tuned up with a high fidelity sound system worth twice the chassis it's been mounted on.

That's where Europe is right now. Instead of moving on from arduously defending the interests of national milk producers, to, say, defending democracy on a European level, we seem to be ever more stuck in turf wars - unstuck in the flow of time, repeating the 80's all over again. Driving around in an old car that's been beefed up with the Euro and rapid expansion plans.

The meat of the day has of course been the evolving crisis between, who? Italy and Germany? Berlusconi and Schulz? The South and the North?

Silvio Berlusconi's media barely mention the voices of opposition, and are quick to exalt the Cavalier (as he is known in the eternal city) by telling of Bush Jr's complimentary call to the Italian premier ("Bush [...] congratulated Berlusconi for his inaugural speech at the European Parliament"). Curious how no other sources appeared to be reporting that Martin Schulz has admitted he had intentionally provoked Berlusconi

Unfortunately, the left-oriented (yet the only serious newspapers in Italy) Corriere della Sera and La Repubblica sum it up nicely. The former declares on its editorial page that "[t]hat which was feared has punctually arrived. [...] [this] European semester could not have started worse." The latter, in a surprisingly Laconian manner simply states that "the Italian semester has sweapt away in a single day - its first - all the extraordinary opportunities Europe had offered, shipwrecking instantly in an international crisis [...]"

While I'm writing this, Mr. Berlusconi is expected to be on the phone with German chancellor. Personal relations can still be mended at this point. On a European level, we can only record the damage. Gentlemen, start your blogs.

If the thunderstorm outside abates, I'll head for the beach to cleanse my spirits.